Shaina Reads

I honestly thought I wasn't going to have two cents to throw in this pot, but what better way to close out the month than with a massive library haul?! All but one of my reads in January qualified for #ReadMyOwnDamnBooks, so I think some borrowed goodies are well-deserved.

Library Books Read

Checked Out, To Be Read

Returned Unread

On Hold

After dipping in and out of it since October, I finally finished up Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar. Made up of letters to and from The Rumpus's former advice columnist Sugar (AKA Cheryl Strayed), this book lends itself well to taking your sweet time (heh), reading a column or two every day, and letting the insights percolate.

Sugar loads her responses with personal stories, and people seem to love or hate that with fairly little in between. Me? I'm firmly in the love camp. Strayed has been through hell and back herself, and her advice is often brutally honest, occasionally saccharine, but always 100% well-intentioned and given with love. This book is like being hugged by your best friend's cool mom over and over again.

There are so many gems in here, but here are a couple of things that Sugar hammered home when I needed some reminding:

1. Boundaries are a-OK.

I've struggled to build boundaries with my immediate family (and my significant others, and my friends, and my colleagues...) for my entire life. I used to think that they were a sign of my own intolerance and inflexibility, but, as the quotation below beautifully illustrates, that's just what other people want you to think so that they can better push you beyond your limits, intentionally or not.

What's harder, you can't just build these boundaries once. You keep building and fortifying them over your entire life. This is exhausting, but the payoff—your sanity, your peace of mind, and your self-respect—is worth all of the effort and more. Build up those walls and protect them fiercely.

"Fucked-up people will try to tell you otherwise, but boundaries have nothing to do with whether you love someone or not. They are not judgments, punishments, or betrayals. ... Boundaries teach people how to treat you, and they teach you how to respect yourself." - A Glorious Something Else

2. Get on with it, because no one else will do it for you.

"Nobody's going to do your life for you. You have to do it yourself, whether you're rich or poor, out of money or raking it in, the beneficiary of ridiculous fortune or terrible injustice. And you have to do it no matter what is true. No matter what is hard. No matter what unjust, sad, sucky things have befallen you. Self-pity is a dead-end road. You make the choice to drive down it. It's up to you to decide to stay parked there or to turn around and drive out." - A Big Life

I know I'll be returning to this collection time and again, and I can't wait to see which letters stand out to me as I continue down this twisty, turn-y path of life.

Happy last week of January, everyone! Can you believe it?

One of the snowiest storms to hit the East coast in recent memory came and went this weekend, and my neck of Connecticut ended up with about a foot of the stuff (AKA little more than a dusting compared to Kerry, Shannon and others' totals).

Mid-blizzard on Saturday.

You'd think this kind of weather would mean I read all the books on Saturday, but nope—echoing what Shannon said, I was too distracted to get in much more than a few hours' worth of reading. I blame cookie-baking, video games, and the general lure of mindless scrolling on the Internet.

A photo posted by Shaina (@shainareadsbooks) on Jan 10, 2016 at 6:43am PST

At some point last year, I stopped eating meat. Despite my love for cheeseburgers, cheap hot dogs, and saucy, bread-y sesame chicken, I'd come to realize that I didn't agree with the way we mass-produce it. Maybe I didn't agree with the idea of killing animals to eat them at all. I could not in good conscience go on eating it, so I stopped...

... until Thanksgiving. Over the holiday, my dad, my boyfriend and I all went into the Florida swamplands with the intention of killing a pig. I wanted to see how being directly involved in an animal's slaughter would affect my feelings about eating it.

A bona fide Florida swamp man guided us to a clearing and left us to wait, my dad with rifle in hand. No more than an hour later, we were standing beside our kill. My boyfriend took a really powerful picture of him with it right before it was butchered. I realize this isn't something that everyone wants to see, so feel free not to click the link. (There's a bit of blood, but otherwise no gore.)

A day or two after the hunt, I started reading Animal Liberation by Peter Singer. First published in 1975, this classic is a rousing call to action against the many atrocities of factory farming. Singer's argument revolves around the concept of "speciesism," or humankind's inherent belief that they are superior to all other animals, and how it leads us to devalue animal suffering in favor of our own ease and enjoyment.

As critics are quick to point out, he can be extreme (he equates our treatment of animals with slavery, which had my head cocking more than a bit), and I'm less than on board with his PETA endorsement. Regardless, so many of his main points were too cogent for me to ignore:

"The principle of the equality of human beings is not a description of an alleged actual equality among humans: it is a prescription of how we should treat human beings."

"If possessing a higher degree of intelligence does not entitle one human to use another for his or her own ends, how can it entitle humans to exploit nonhumans for the same purpose?"

"The question is not, Can they reason? nor Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?"  

I do not regret killing the pig nor eating it, but I don't know that I could ever do it again. The ninety or so seconds it took to die were some of the most deeply uncomfortable moments I've ever experienced. This was an animal that had free reign of its surroundings until it died, too, unlike many of the animals that end up packaged for sale at the grocery store. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I may never have my beloved sesame chicken again.

I'm still figuring out what to do about other animal products, like eggs, milk, and cheese. I get the sense that I'll be "figuring this out" for some time yet. I'm grateful to have had Singer's seminal work to refer to at a crucial moment on my journey.

Ultimately, Animal Liberation is heavy, polarizing, and the kind of book you absolutely have to read for yourself. I think that all kinds of eaters and activists will find plenty to think about, and I'd love to have more people with whom to discuss it!

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, everyone! Coming off the last of my graduate school applications, I am more grateful than ever for the long weekend.

I didn't read anywhere near 24 hours this weekend, but 24in48 was still a rousing success. I finished the second half of The Longest Night, Andria Williams's heartbreaking debut, and then Nimona went and destroyed what was left of my heart before rebuilding it and making it swell tenfold. I don't know if I'll get around to a proper review of the latter, but I'm calling it: it'll make my best of 2016 list (in keeping with my super backlist-y 2015 picks).

Dr. Blitzmeyer gets me. #nimona #24in48 #alwaystimefortea

A photo posted by Shaina (@shainareadsbooks) on Jan 17, 2016 at 8:21pm PST

I also started Bats of the Republic by Zachary Thomas Dodson, and I'm already completed sucked in. I expected to be entranced by the illustrations and experimental format, but the story has me hooked, too. I can't wait to see where it goes.

And, of course, I made time for my man Ron Chernow and his man, Hamilton. I might not be writing any actual blog posts for #HamAlong, but darn it if I'm not keeping up and tweeting inane things.

This week, I'll be spending plenty of time with Bats and Hamilton and also plan to keep chipping away at my other nonfiction. I've been in the middle of How to Live: A Life of Montaigne in One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer by Sarah Bakewell and Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Life and Love from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed for what feels like months. A quick Goodreads check confirms that feeling. Wish me luck!

"People talked. Do you know what that does? Do you know what that does to a marriage? People talking. Have you heard how people talk?"

Nat and Paul Collier just moved to Idaho Falls for Paul's new job. It's 1959, and he's just completed nuclear reactor training; he's now responsible for operating the CR-1, a prototype that no one will admit is falling apart. Nat is light and airy, Paul brooding and tight-lipped; they've built their life together on a tightrope that only becomes more difficult to walk as Paul's work anxiety mounts. When Paul gets deployed to Greenland, Nat develops a quick friendship with Esrom, the handsome, local cowboy who charms her young daughters and set the neighbors to whispering... and more than whispering.

On its face, this is a story we've all heard before: a marriage held together despite seemingly irreconcilable personality differences; one partner leaves, literally or figuratively, and someone new surfaces, appearing to offer an escape, an alternative to the everyday drudgery of "weaving your entrails together" with the person you married. Chaos ensues. Williams did not reinvent the wheel here.

At first, it was hard for me to take Nat and Paul's struggles seriously. They're my age, and I couldn't help thinking of them as two big kids tottering around playing grown-up. I eventually realized that, yes, they were, but they also had children to look out for, and wildly different and intense social expectations to live up to, and ever-present Cold War anxiety to contend with.

What sets The Longest Night apart is Williams's unwavering tenderness toward her two leads. They are both flawed, but they know it; different as they are, Nat and Paul are both naturally reflective, perhaps a touch unrealistically. Still, they are always struggling inwardly, both to come to terms with their own natures and what they each bring to their union. Where will they go from here?

"But then eventually they would belong to each other, which was a miraculous kind of a thing but a savage one, too."

Williams's writing is gorgeous and heartbreaking, a feat for a debut novel, and it didn't feel like it lasted half as long as its 400 pages. If you enjoy history, rejoice; it's based ever so loosely on true events. Even if you don't, this is a stunning portrait of a marriage hunting for solid ground in an increasingly uncertain world. It shouldn't be missed.

I received this book via NetGalley for review consideration. Thanks so much to NetGalley and Random House for the chance to read it!

Y'all, I think there's a readathon fairy that just knows. Dewey's came around the Saturday after I took the GRE, and now 24in48 is happening the weekend after I submitted my very last grad school application. I couldn't be a luckier, more relieved gal because—in case you missed that—I'M DONE.


And that means it's time for some books!

I'm not putting any pressure on myself this weekend. Though the point of the 'thon is to try to get in 24 hours of reading in a 48-hour period, I just want to devote myself to my books at my leisure. Here are some potential options:

So amped to be participating in #24in48 this weekend! These suckers have been hanging out on my nightstand for too long. Come read all weekend with me!

A photo posted by Shaina (@shainareadsbooks) on Jan 14, 2016 at 7:17am PST

Another candidate for #24in48! At 240 pages and with glowing reviews from folks I trust, it's looking mighty likely. #books #bookstagram #myweekendisbooked

A photo posted by Shaina (@shainareadsbooks) on Jan 14, 2016 at 1:19pm PST

I'm also hoping to get some blog posts written while I'm at it, but we'll see! What will be will be. One thing is for certain: I'll be tweeting up a storm.

All right, y'all. I'm gonna flex my reviewing muscles for the first time in, er, two and a half months to talk about the first book I finished in 2016. A TL;DR version of this review could be: I just really want to sit down with Sarai Walker and talk about feminist porn.

To start things off easy, here's the blurb from Goodreads:

"Plum Kettle does her best not to be noticed, because when you’re fat, to be noticed is to be judged. Or mocked. Or worse. With her job answering fan mail for a popular teen girls’ magazine, she is biding her time until her weight-loss surgery. Only then can her true life as a thin person finally begin.

Then, when a mysterious woman starts following her, Plum finds herself falling down a rabbit hole and into an underground community of women who live life on their own terms. ... At the same time, a dangerous guerrilla group called 'Jennifer.' begins to terrorize a world that mistreats women, and as Plum grapples with her personal struggles, she becomes entangled in a sinister plot. The consequences are explosive."

Plum's struggle with her body image and taking control of her life ("In my real life I would have more friends, and dinner parties and overnight guests, but my life wasn't real yet.") made me ache.  I won't say much more about this. As a woman who has never struggled significantly with managing her weight, I don't think it's my place. However, I think that all women can relate to that insidious social pressure that makes us want to eat less, work out more, and compare ourselves endlessly to other women who are doing "better" or "worse" than us. We're constantly under surveillance, not only by society but also by each other.

This tab-keeping goes for both our physical appearance and our sexuality, or "fuckability," as actress-turned-sociologist Marlowe Buchanan would say.

"'A fuckable woman doesn't take up space. Fuckable women are controlled.'"

At one point after moving in with the women's collective, Plum stumbles upon an underground room that literally broadcasts PornHub's greatest hits on the walls and ceilings 24/7. "Jennifer" murders a female porn star and calls for men to be objectified in the media just as much or else suffer the extremely violent consequences.

And here's where my brow quirked. Yes, the mainstream pornography industry can be unbelievably degrading to women. No, a woman's worth should not be determined by how desirable she is as a potential sex partner. How to use this information to create change, however, is less clear-cut. As freaking always, right?

I think it's important to acknowledge that women do enjoy sex and many also enjoy sexual imagery (i.e., porn), and I really didn't get that sense from Walker. How can women both embrace their sexuality and feel good about enjoying porn while also avoiding the disrespect that is so often inherent in sexual objectification? I think that some feminist porn sites are making strides at bridging the gap, but it's still an extremely open (and difficult) question, one that Dietland seemed to ignore entirely.

Walker also gives antidepressants extremely short shrift (essentially, Plum's life becomes a whole lot better after she kicks her habit). It's true that medication isn't for everyone and that many people stay on their regimens longer than they need to, but I will always roll my eyes at stories that peg antidepressants as an unnecessary evil.

On the whole, the writing left something to be desired, and I noticed this more as the plot became less engaging about two-thirds of the way through. Despite significant flaws, this was a bold first showing from Walker. She tackled subjects that many of us would like to continue sweeping under the rug, and I'll be curious to see what she decides to take on next.

I didn't want to let the first part of January go by without paying some homage to my favorite reads of last year. Just a single one of these picks was published in 2015; I found the majority of my joy in backlist books and, to no one's greater surprise than my own, backlist audio books. I can't believe I was staunchly refusing to listen to them back in July. Your loss, past Shaina.

A Wizard of Earthsea, by Ursula K. Le Guin

All the Birds, Singing, by Evie Wyld

Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs, by Johann Hari

Tell the Wolves I'm Home, by Carol Rifka Brunt

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, by Ken Kesey (audio)

A Prayer for Owen Meany, by John Irving (audio)

Next year, I hope more than one nonfiction selection makes this list. My nonfiction reading picked up considerably at the end of last year and the start of this year (*cough* 36-hour Hamilton audio book *cough*), and I hope this trend continues and helps me find some new, semi- to fully-factual favorites.

Welcome to 2016, friends! It's time for some long-winded, new-year reflecting.

2015 was a wonderful blogging year for me. I dove headlong into reviewing, participating in challenges (and hosting some!), and getting to know the fabulous, bookish community that welcomed me with open arms and which I still feel so privileged to call my own.

I ran out of steam toward the end of the year, due to a confluence of graduate school applications, heightened stress at work, multiple illnesses, and a tendency to fall to inert bits when things get to be too much. The holidays recharged me, and while I still have to face many of the same things that were getting me down (New Year's flu, anyone?), I know that one way to keep my spirits high is to make time for things that I love. Blogging is way up there.

I have a few things I want to change about how I run Shaina Reads this year. Resolutions stress me out, not so much because I worry that I won't fulfill them, but more because I worry that I will stick too strictly to them without giving myself any breathing room (see: Review only what I want to). Still, I know these are changes that will make my blogging more flexible rather than less, and writing them down and being able to come back to them will help when I inevitably get overwhelmed again.

Review only what I want to.

One of the things that's kept me from coming back to the blog sooner is the huge backlog of books that I've yet to review. I put a lot of pressure on myself to review everything last year. Not only is that unsustainable, but it also makes things stale and unenjoyable hella quickly. I want to be pickier about what I write about from now on. Hopefully, this means the writing will improve, too! I probably won't get as many ARCs this way, but since I plan to #ReadMyOwnDamnBooks in 2016, this shouldn't be an issue.

Stress less about my posting frequency.

When I first started, I worried that I would need to post solid content multiple times a week to keep people coming back. I've had a few hiatuses since beginning to blog, and, to my delight, a regular group of you keep coming back to me! Sure, maybe my readership won't grow much, but the enjoyment I get out of sharing what I do will.

Let's make that stress less in general.

About posting, commenting, taking part in challenges/read-alongs, tweeting, all of it. I want to be engaged, but it's way too easy for me to turn fun things (like, you know, reading books) into obligations. I have enough of those as it is, with hopefully more coming soon—graduate school decisions arrive in February!


And there you have it. If you made it to the end of this neurotic spiel, go make yourself some hot cocoa.